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A Reason to Keep Trying
}} Roy seeks his father's help in scrying on the mortal realm, but realizes he may be better off without him entirely. Eugene takes this for reverse psychology Cast * Roy Greenhilt (as spirit) ◀ ▶ * Durkon Thundershield ◀ ▶ * Eugene Greenhilt ◀ ▶ * Roy's Archon ◀ ▶ Transcript Eugene: What’s the matter, Roy? Got bored with the free sex and booze? Decided it would be more fun to come back and kick the old man around some more? Roy: Yeah, here’s a tip: Playing the victim isn’t going to get much traction with me. Roy: At any rate, I didn’t skip out on eternal bliss and run down a mountain for— Roy’s Archon: Nine days. Roy: —nine days in order to resume our scintillating conversation. Roy: I came back so I could look down at the mortal realm. Eugene: Awww, did someone not get resurrected on schedule? Poor Roy! Eugene: Well, far be it for me to interrupt you. By all means, cast your gaze upon the living. Roy: Thanks, I will. beat Roy: How come all I see are white fluffy clouds? Eugene: HA!! Eugene: It’s easy, Son, it’s just like scrying. Eugene: Oh! Wait! That’s right, you’re a fighter! And I bet they didn’t teach scrying in that Fighter’s College of yours, did they? Eugene: Well, it looks like you’re out of luck then, my friend. A shame, since it sure has been an interesting few months down there, yessir. Roy: *sigh* Roy’s Archon, can you help me scry on my friends? Roy’s Archon: Umm… Roy’s Archon: Actually, lantern archons like me don’t have the power to form a scrying pool out of the clouds on our own. Roy’s Archon: We just hang around and wait for a planetar or a deva to come down, then we watch over their shoulder. Eugene: Look, Dad, getting me rezzed is as important to you as it is to me, so help me look down and see why Durkon is dragging his feet. Eugene: Say, “please”. Roy: What? Eugene: Say, “please”. Roy: Please, Dad. Will you please help me scry the mortal realm? Eugene: No. Roy: …What? Eugene: No. Eugene: N. Eugene: O. Eugene: As in, “No, I will not assist you in scrying the mortal realm.” Eugene: You seeing what is happening won’t actually change any of what is transpiring, and thus isn’t at all relevant to me getting onto that mountain. Eugene: Whether or not you know WHY you haven’t been raised won’t change whether or not you WILL be raised in the future. Eugene: It’ll just satisfy your curiosity, and I don’t care one whit about that. Roy: Dad, I swear, knock it off and help me— Eugene: Or what? You won’t destroy Xykon for me? Eugene: Too late on that Bluff check, Son. Eugene: You made it crystal clear back in Shojo’s throne room that you felt morally obligated to tackle Xykon anyway, on account of him being such a threat to the whole world. Eugene: So be pissed at me all you want, you’ll still do what I need you to when—or should I say, “if”—your soul and your body ever manage to meet up again. Eugene: You’re dead, Roy. Dead and gone. You have no say in what goes down there anymore. Eugene: Which means unless Xykon graciously chooses to pop up here in person and allow you to make unarmed attacks against him, you’re useless to me. Eugene: Or should I say, “Even more useless”? Eugene: In short, I’m done with you. Eugene: Go back up the mountain and cry to your mother, little boy. Roy: You pathetic old— beat Roy: No, you know what? Fine. Roy: You do what you’ve got to do. Roy: I mean, normally, I would launch into a huge sarcastic rant, but obviously that isn’t the way to solve my problems, or I wouldn’t be dead at age 28. Roy’s Archon: Actually, 29. Your birthday was last week. Roy: You’re not worth the trouble. I’ll find someone else to help me. Eugene: Wait, so you’re just going to take it? Roy: Looks like. Eugene: Don’t you want to get a few shots in at me first? Roy: Not really. Roy: Roy’s Archon, any chance of us finding one of those deva’s who’d be willing to help out? Roy’s Archon: We can give it a shot, sure. Eugene: Hey! Get back here, you moron! Roy: No. Roy: Why should I? I’m not going to change who you are as a person by shouting a few insults at you, no matter how clever they may be. Roy: I used to think I could; that if I could just deliver the perfect retort, it would open your eyes a little. Roy: But if everything you’ve been through with Mom and Eric and Grandpa and the literal forces of the cosmos hasn’t made you want to be a better man, I doubt a one-liner from me is going to do the trick now. Roy: You are who you are, and every time I stoop to the level of engaging you with another angry tirade, I’m a little more like you and a little less like Mom. Roy So, see you around, I guess. Eugene: Oh, I get it. You’re trying to trick me. Roy: What? Uh, no, Dad, I honestly don’t want you to scry for me. Roy: I don’t need the stress in my life. Uh, afterlife. Eugene: Well, I can play along, if only so that I can be there when your pathetic attempt at reverse psychology fails. Roy: No, I really don’t want your help anymore. I’ll find someone else, really. Eugene: Listen to me, young man, you will stand there and watch as I scry for you and you will like it, because I am your father. Roy: … Roy: You do know that you don’t make any sense, right? Roy: OK, fine. If your ego can’t grasp not being crucial to everything I say or do, then go ahead and scry for me. On one condition. Eugene: Name it. Roy: When I eventually destroy Xykon and you are let into the afterlife? You never go to Mom’s house there. Roy: Not even once. Roy: You can go anywhere else on the mountain, but not there. You disappear, and your family enjoys eternity without you. Eugene: That’s it?? Agreed. Roy: Swear. For what it’s worth. Eugene: I swear. Roy: I don’t know what’s more depressing: That you agreed so easily, or that I knew that you would when I proposed it. Eugene: What’s that supposed to mean? Roy: Don’t worry about it. Fire up the scrying pool, Dad. Eugene: You’ll need to concentrate on one person at a time to scry properly. Roy: Let’s start with Durkon, then. I want to know why he hasn’t raised me yet. Eugene and Roy gaze into gap in the clouds. Roy: Durkon… Durkon Thundershield… Durkon Thundershield… Durkon… Durkon's voice is heard far below. Durkon: …by tha power invest’d in me by tha gods… On the ocean, Hinjo's junk is decorated for a celebration. The other ships of the refugee Azurite fleet sail nearby. Durkon's voice rises from the deck. Durkon: I now pronounce ye, “Man an’ Wife.” D&D Context * Bluff checks are required when a player tries to lie, feint in combat, create a diversion or deliver a secret message in the open. * Devas and Planetars are types of angels in the Good aligned astral planes. Trivia * This is the first update on the affairs of the Azurite fleet since they left Azure City in #484, the final comic of the previous book, War and XPs. * Reverse psychology is a technique involving the advocacy of a belief that is the opposite of the one desired. Eugene can't understand that Roy is being earnest, and not employing this method. External Links * 500}} View the comic * 61947}} View the discussion thread Category:Uses Scrying Category:Roy's Afterlife